UWE Power Rankings(Post-Gallipoli Edition)

Power Rankings

1. Morsmordre (3) – It’s been a mixed week for Morsmordre, but Asylum’s incredible display against Bob the Badguy warrants the number one spot. While Brandon wasn’t victorious, this group has shown time and time again that they’re the gold standard in UWE, and so far no one has been able to take them down a peg. But if they want to hold on to this number one spot, they better keep delivering the goods!

2. The Armenian Beast (1) – For the first time in a long while, The Armenian Beast is knocked off his throne in the Power Rankings. Sorry, Beastie, but that’s what happens if you don’t show up! Not that it’s your fault, but the world keeps on turning with or without you. He’s still the champion, but he’ll have to come back soon (and win) or risk dropping even further down the rankings.

3. The Rhett Vipers (4) – Jenson and Ruby bust into the top three after a great display against Chaos by the Michigan Dragon. Both Chaos and Jenson are undefeated in single’s and tag team competition, so no one can argue that this number 3 spot is not what they deserve. Ruby will face Serah Feena next week, and if she can keep their near perfect record clean, they might find themselves even higher next week!

4. Amy Gobraless (2) – No podium for Miss Gobraless this week, as she gets the same treatment The Armenian Beast got. If you want to hag onto your spot, you’ll have to show up and compete; because remember, there’s always someone out there who’s hungrier than you are and who’s looking to dethrone you. But don’t worry, Amy, once you get back in the thick of it, you’ll get back ito the top three in no time.

5. Special Forces (5) – A mixed week for the Special Forces. Major Payne lost to Tyler Reeves, but Corporal Punishment picked up an astonishing win over Brandon Sorrow. +1-1 equals zero, and that’s why they neither lose or gain a spot.

6. Angels & Demons (7) – Lily and Billsta defeated the team of Craven and Natasha, and therefore they go up in the rankings! They might be even higher, had the single’s record of both members been a little bit better. But still, their rise is slow, but steady.

7. Tyler Reeves (N/A) – Talk about making an entrance! “The Icon” Tyler Reeves is out to make a name for himself and he did just that. He busts into the Power Rankings like a wrecking ball, and now it’s up to the others to stop him. The question is: can they?

8. Bob the Badguy (6) – Badluck for the Badguy. After coming up short against Asylum, he goes from 6 to 8. Everyone can have a Badday, but if you’re a Badass like Bob, you’ll be back in business in a blitz!

9. Chaos (8) – The Canadian Psycho slides a bit further downafter his loss to Jenson Rhett. He needs a big win, fast, or he might not make this list in the weeks to come! He can take Morsmordre, numbers one on this list, down a peg by defeating Brandon Sorrow. If he does, that, expect to see him skyrocket his way up the Rankings.

10. Serah Feena (9) – A no contest for Miss Feena isn’t enough to go up in the list. Like Chaos, she could do with a big win and, like Chaos, she could do just that this week when she faces Ruby. Don’t get disheartened, Serah, we all love you very much, and we know it’s only a matter of time before your true potential shines!

UWE Power Rankings(Post-Thermopylae Edition)

Power Rankings
  1. The Armenian Beast – Rumor has it that the assault at the hands of Morsmordre might leave the champ sidelined for a while. Nonetheless, he retained his belt at the end of the last tour. He’s still the champion which means he’s still number one!
  2. Amy GoBraless – Two in a row. Crazy. She beat Billsta and Bob at the pay-per-view, then put Billsta down again in Thermopylae. She’s one step closer to her shot at the UWE World Championship. When that time comes, she might finally grab that number one stop that’s belonged to the Beast this whole time.
  3. Morsmordre – It looks like Asylum decided to take the week off to be all broody and whatnot. Brandon Sorrow scared some children, but came up short against Special Forces. He’s a Hall of Famer…well, was, but the numbers were still against him. However, Cthuhlu went on a rampage. He interrupted the opening contest and laid waste to Ruby and Lily Jackson, then went on a brawl with Chaos to who knows where. Later in the evening, he and Chaos met in the ring, and Cthuhlu dismantled the Canadian Psycho. Holy buckets are these guys gonna hurt some people. I’m glad I’m behind this keyboard.
  4. Rhett Vipers – The two of them don’t deserve to be shoved down the list. They’ve both been on the end of some beatdowns lately and it’s not their fault. Well, maybe Jenson’s, because he decided to stick his nose in the business of Morsmordre. And Ruby…well, I guess she is guilty by association. Hopefully they can put an end to the madness and calm things down.
  5. Special Forces – Also all up in the business of Morsmordre, Special Forces tried to play the hero in London. They got some retribution at the start of the Battleground Tour, though, defeating Brandon Sorrow in handicap action. No doubt they will still be looking to take the fight to UWE’s latest oppressive force. That’ll keep them bumping up.
  6. Bob the Badguy – Nothing good or bad to post about Bob this week, well, maybe bad. Since he’s the Badguy. L. O. L. Internet lingo. Whacko stuff, huh? Anyways, he’s getting closer and closer to getting kicked off this list. Let’s see the Badguy hurt somebody!
  7. Angels and Demons – Billsta came up just short again. And Lily got thrown around by the UWE’s original monster, Cthuhlu. It’s not devastating losses. They keep getting closer and closer to what they want to achieve. Let us see how that progresses.
  8. Chaos – I guess he really is in love or something? Stepping up at the special guest referee, he had some trouble enforces the rules. Cthuhlu disrupted his match and then disrupted any momentum he might have had later in the evening, beating him 1, 2, 3.
  9. Serah Feena – She’s sitting in the 9-hole. Same situation as with Bob. Nothing good or bad. She needs to just be given opportunities. And if management won’t give them, she needs to take them!
  10. ??? – SOMEONE. ANYONE. PLEASE. Step up and jumble these power rankings!


Power Rankings
  1. The Armenian Beast – Despite the beatdown at the end of the show, which might just leave Beast out of the ring for a bit, he takes the number one spot. Beast is still UWE World Champion and he won the TLC match at the pay-per-view. He didn’t even have to climb the ladder!
  2. Morsmordre – Doesn’t ring a bell? Well, unfortunately, get used to it. The trio of Brandon Sorrow, Cthuhlu, and Asylum has a name. They revealed the alliance at the end of the show in London, laying waste to The Armenian Beast, Jenson Rhett, Special Forces, loads of backstage crew, and the entire ringside area. Be afraid. Be very afraid.
  3. Amy Gobraless – She’s back and she’s flaunting it more than ever. In a fantastic triple threat match, she defended her Rising Star Championship for the second time against Bob the Badguy and Billsta Anderson. One more and she’ll be able to drop that belt and take on the World Champion!
  4. Rhett Vipers – Look at these two go! Jenson Rhett racked up a victory over Brandon Moore and in London, the duo defeated veteran tag team Special Forces. Look for them to keep on rollin’!
  5. Angels and Demons – Lily got the W against Serah Feena and Billsta keeps coming up just short. He could have had the Rising Star Championship match in the bag, but luck just isn’t on his side. He gets another shot one on one with Amy on the first show of the new tour. Let’s see how that plays out.
  6. Bob the Badguy – He’s rolling back downhill rather than climbing. Bob took the fall in the triple threat match for the Rising Star Championship. But hey, he’s still the Badguy. Look for him to rebound. Easily.
  7. Special Forces – Their return has been a stellar one. Unfortunately, in London, they were taken down by the much more novice tag team of the Rhett Vipers. They still put on a hell of a show, though. And even proved their guts by coming to the aid of…well, the world when Morsmordre emerged and started their destruction. That might not have ended so well for them, though.
  8. Chaos – Chaos might be in love. Gross. Focus on your matches instead of boobs and stuff! He’s the Canadian Psycho. Whether it’s at the top of the bottom, he’ll probably always be somewhere on this list.
  9. Serah Feena – This girl is impressive. She’s having a bit of a rough start in the win department, but look for that to change rather quickly. She’s got a bright future ahead.
  10. ???? – No, it’s not a fabled mystery person. It’s just that no one else deserves to be on this damn list! Where is the rest of the competition? Step your game up if you want this vacant spot.

UWE Power Rankings(Post-Netherlands Edition)

Power Rankings
  1. The Armenian Beast – Beast is still on an absolute roll. He’s the reigning UWE World Champion and is coming off of a hard fought victory against Bob the Badguy. This number one spot doesn’t look to be changing any time soon. We’ll see after his title defense in London!
  2. Brandon Moore – What a match Brandon is coming off of! Match of the year quality! It was a hard fought battle that Jenson Rhett edged, but Brandon is certainly ready to raise his limit. He’s still the number one contender. London’s calling!
  3. Asylum – In London, Asylum has a street fight on his hands. However, in Amsterdam, he decided to sit it out. That doesn’t stop his presence from being felt. Even from another part of the country, he was still certainly able to get into the mind of his current adversary, Brandon Moore. Crazy stuff.
  4. Amy Gobraless – The Rising Star Champion has been MIA the past couple of weeks, but she’s still the champion. Her position in the power rankings as well as her position as champion is certainly in jeopardy. She’ll defend in London and it’ll be quite the bout.
  5. Bob the Badguy – Bob is here at number five. He might not have beaten the World Champion, but he sure put up one hell of a fight. And with a spot in the Rising Star Championship, these rankings are sure going to shake up by the time UWE leaves London, England!
  6. Rhett Vipers – The team moves up! Ruby was ringside for the spectacle. Jenson Rhett put on an absolute monster of a showing, coming up with a submission victory against Brandon Moore. If the two keep up the W’s, they’ll break through the top five like nobody’s business!
  7. Angels and Demons – Billsta and Lily are maintaining a strong presence in the top ten. Lily got a win over Chaos, using her speed and the ability to capitalize in a quick effort. Billsta didn’t come up with the win, but holy buckets, did he leave his mark. He massacred Special Forces during his count out loss.
  8. Chaos – Chaos needs to step it back up! He’s letting his temper get the best of him. While getting in the face of the referee, he allowed Lily Jackson to roll him up. He’ll need to get his groove back in London if he wants to stop tumbling down the rankings.
  9. Special Forces – The team is back for good it appears. They’ve been showing up the last couple of weeks. Major Payne definitely got the win against Billsta Anderson, but I’m sure it doesn’t feel like he did. These two will be looking to get some more combined victories and shoot up the list!
  10. Serah Feena – She’s hanging on at number ten. Lucilla is going to kill me, but I’m not afraid of her anymore! Serah has a match coming up in London and will be looking to keep her spot or possibly move on up. Anything could happen and these power rankings will certainly prove that.

UWE Power Rankings(Post Germany Edition)

Power Rankings
  1. The Armenian Beast – Beast finds himself steadily atop the power rankings. He is the UWE World Champion after all. In Germany, Beast was able to defeat Asylum fair and square. Brandon Moore took the role of official for the match, but he called it right down the middle. Every week, we are reminded as to why The Armenian Beast sits upon UWE’s throne.
  2. Brandon Moore – Need I say ‘Moore?’ See what I did there? Brandon has been hot hot hot lately. His scuffles with Asylum surely could have put a damper on his in ring prowess as of late, but that didn’t happen. Brandon called a good clean bout as well as earning himself a number one contender’s spot for the man above him’s championship.
  3. Amy Gobraless – She wasn’t found in Germany, but she is still the Rising Star Champion. Sooner or later, she’ll have to defend that belt and we’ll see if she can keep this top three spot on the list.
  4. Asylum – What can be said about Asylum? He had a slip up against The Armenian Beast, but the Masked Madman has been on a hot streak as of late, taking on all comers. He came close to beating the World Champion and came just as close to winning a shot at that very World Championship. We’ll see where he goes on the rankings while he’s at war with Mr. Number Two.
  5. Bob the Badguy – Bob picked himself up a win in Germany! After Chaos got a cheap victory in Italy, Bob was given the opportunity to exact revenge. A no disqualification match? Of course he used that to his every advantage. Bob moves up!
  6. Chaos – And Chaos moves down. Chaos has been on an impressive streak lately, but the Badguy was able to shut him down. I don’t think this is the last we’ll see of these two. To be honest, I hope it’s not.
  7. Angels and Demons – The future is bright for Billsta Anderson and Lily Jackson. Defying doctor’s orders to sit the week out, Lily couldn’t help but try her hand in the battle royal. That’s enough to make any team she is on totally badass. Number seven is all yours this week.
  8. The Rhett Vipers – Another tag team has burst onto the scene…and onto the power rankings! Ruby debuted against Chris Macksion, who doesn’t appear to be doing as much saving as he would like. She came away with a decisive victory. Then you have Jenson Rhett reappearing. He made a big showing in the battle royal, fighting his way until the final three. The sky is the limit for these two.
  9. Serah Feena – Another newcomer to the company and the rankings! Serah made an impressive debut against the Italian pretty boy, Mario Valentino. She’ll be looking to keep that momentum up and onward in the coming weeks, raiding the upper seeds of the rankings.
  10. Lucilla Pegorino – Oh where oh where as Lucilla gone? Oh where oh where can she be? Still suspended, right? Well, I’m not taking any chances. I like my life, my balls, and a whole lot of things. So, she’s staying on the list until I get the courage to knock her off. Someone…anyone, help me.