Exclusive: Carston Blake Interviews Lucilla Pegorino

Interviews & Questionnaires, Spotlight

UWE.com recently had the pleasure of interviewing Lucilla Pegorino, a former UWE tag team champion and arguably one of the most dangerous, and unpredictable, superstars on the UWE roster in recent memory.

There is no better way of blooding some of the new backstage personnel than by having them conduct an interview with Lucilla. We sat none other than Carston Blake down with the younger of the Pegorino sisters, and let him do his thing. You can read the transcript of the interview below.

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Carston Blake Lucilla, welcome.

Lucilla: That’s not a question.

Carston Blake Right. I’m sorry. Let me get right down to it. As you know, UWE is hosting the Kyle Stone Memorial Cup soon, in remembrance of the valiant UWE alumnus who passed away. There was heavy speculation over who would participate, and many were expecting to see you among the participants. However, you are a noticeable absentee from the pool of Superstars that will be competing for the Cup.

Lucilla: Still not a question. 

Carston Blake Right again. Would you care to elaborate on your absence from the Cup?

Lucilla: I might.

Carston Blake And will you?

Lucilla: Perhaps if you stopped asking me inane questions.

Carston Blake Okay, I apologize. Let’s try again. Why are you absent from the Memorial Cup? 

Lucilla: That’s slightly better. Let me answer that question with another question. Why should I give a damn about Kyle Stone? Why should I risk life and limb to honor the memory of someone I’ve barely even heard of? … It’s all right, you can make suggestions now.

Carston Blake The fame? The glory? Sending a message to the world? Other UWE greats will be competing in the Cup after all, like Asylum, Brandon Moore, Ronnie Cage, just to name a few. Beating them en route to winning the Cup would certainly be a massive statement, whether the name of Kyle Stone means something to you or not.

Lucilla: I don’t have anything to prove to anyone. I know what I can do, and I know I am better than any one of those guys you just mentioned. Let’em measure their dicks among themselves, I’ve no interest in that prawn cocktail of idiots. I’m going to do my own thing, and while beating up dudes is always satisfying, the Kyle Stone Cup just isn’t part of my plans.

Carston Blake There are some tongues who claim that you’re ducking them, though. That you’re afraid to get back into the ring because you might lose. Badly. And often. To everyone. That you’ve lost your ‘it factor’. Is there any truth to that?

Lucilla: What tongues? The only tongues I care about are the ones twirling about in my happy places. And they tell a different story. The story that Lucilla is by far and wide the greatest Superstar in UWE today. But of course, you wouldn’t know anything about that.

Carston Blake Greatest Superstar in UWE today, you say. Still, on UWE’s upcoming house show, you will be facing Angela Icke. On the undercard. Hardly a place for the greatest Superstar in UWE today, is it?

Lucilla: Are you trying to piss me off, boy? We were talking about tongues earlier; unless you want yours ripped out I suggest you try a different tone. And quickly.

Carston Blake Surely you wouldn’t break the non-violence clause towards reporters that is clearly embedded in your contract?

Lucilla: What, you think I’d do it myself? I’ve got plenty of people to do my dirty work for me, Carston. Still, I’ll gladly do the dirty work myself when I face Angela. People need to realize that we don’t belong in the same league. The beating I’m going to give her won’t be pretty. In fact, I don’t even care whether I win or lose. I am seriously thinking about just bashing her head in with the ring bell and get myself disqualified. Get it over with, you know? And then she can go back to where she belongs, backstage with all of you losers. She might have a little more difficulty controlling her salivary glands when asking questions, but the fans might find her drooling wreck quite entertaining to watch. 
She’ll be my first victim before I tear a hole through this place. I am going to decimate this roster, Cup or no Cup. Championships or no championships. I am here for the violence, and a former fitness model isn’t even going to be a bump in the road, believe you me


Carston Blake Harsh words. Do you consider things to be personal in this match between Angela and yourself?

Lucilla: This may surprise you, Carston, but with me, things are rarely ever personal. 

Carston Blake You’re right, that does surprise me. Care to elaborate?

Lucilla: Not really, but since we have two minutes left… Angela is simply someone who isn’t on my radar. She’s never beaten me, she’s too nice and hasn’t enough of a spine to take things to a personal level. If you beat me, if you talk trash about my family, if you get between me and my goals… Any combination of either of those things will make it personal. Very few people have ever done that.

Carston Blake Like who?

Lucilla: Well, I promised my sister I’d never speak her name again. So I’m not going to. And there have been others. But Angela isn’t one of them. Quite frankly, I just don’t give a damn about her, and never will. I mean, who did she ever beat?

Carston Blake Ruby. Mario Valentino. 

Lucilla: Ugh, Ruby… And that’s supposed to be some massive statement? Ruby isn’t on my level, and that crippled has-been she hangs around with isn’t much better. Ruby will get what’s coming to her soon enough, let me tell you that. But first, I’m gonna rip Angela a fourth hole. Just you watch.

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A word with… Caroline Cage

Interviews & Questionnaires

I’m one of your UWE blog correspondents, Adam, and I’ve conducted interviews with reigning Champions Amy Gobraless and The Armenian Beast in the past. More recently, I got an exclusive word with Caroline Cage. The General Manager decided to share a few words in a brief game of word association.

Champion
Gurgen – The Armenian Beast, he is at the top of the UWE brand and subsequently must be honored as the champion the others aspire to be.

Faction
Morsmordre – With Asylum, Sorrow and Cthuhlu this faction has proven to be deadly.

Vacation
Needed – I could use a vacation. Ronnie and I have paid visits to some of the locales during the tours, but it’s mostly for work and business.

Music
Love – I absolutely love music of all kinds. I have radio stations playing constantly. Everything from Indie to top 40.

Video Games
Boys – Your GM doesn’t play Xbox One or PS4. I will play Wii from time to time, but not as of late.

Women’s wrestling
Fan – I’m a fan of the sport and if it involves the ladies they got my support.

Children
Caroline laughs

Tour
Japan – That comes to mind because the board room has been talking about it. There have been other destinations discussed, but they’re all ideas at this point.

That’s all for now. Next time I will try to get a tag team like Angels and Demons, Special Forces or The Rhett Vipers. Could you imagine a double word association? I’m interested so that I can compare and contrast.

Adam

UWE Staff Interviews: Meet Kennedi and Mackenzi

Interviews & Questionnaires

The identical twin sisters live together in an apartment in Toronto. They are Chett Rosenthal’s personal assistants, but when they’re not holding down the office at the UWE head quarters they are on tour with the company. The sisters may lack the in-ring wrestling experience, but they are completely business savvy.

UWE Adam: How did you get your jobs as assistants?

K: I applied for an internship and then I got Mackenzi a position when they were hiring just two weeks later.
M: Yes, Kennedi helped me get on after she was hired.
K: I found an ad online.
M: We both worked as interns in the office at the UWE headquarters in Toronto.

UWE Adam: So, you were interns first and then you became the UWE Owner’s personal assistants?

M: No not right away.
K: At first I worked in the offices in Toronto, but Chett liked my work ethic a month or so into working for UWE.
M: They liked us both.
K: Chett asked us personally, to be his personal assistants.
M: It took awhile, but it was worth it.

UWE Adam: What do you hope to gain from this experience?

K: The work experience, of course. Mac and I love our jobs and Chett has given us additional responsibilities.

UWE Adam: Like what kind of additional responsibilities?

K: When he’s away he will let one of us step up. We have proven ourselves capable of such responsibilities.
M: In the past it’s been Kennedi, but he has also let me take over when he goes on flights.
K: Sometimes he will leave one of us behind and take the other on the business trip.

UWE Adam: What credentials do you ladies have, where did you attend school?

K: We both have office education certificates…
M: …in addition to budding degrees in business school.
K: Yes, we both major in finance.

UWE Adam: Interesting, so you’re both involved in the financial aspects of UWE?

K: Not really, but it’s stuff we’re familiar with.
M: We do minor paper work.
K: Between the two of us we get a lot done.
M: Chett adores how we keep things in order.

UWE Adam: Are either of you trained wrestlers or trained to be in-ring?

M: No, not at all.
K: Not at all, no.

UWE Adam: Okay, thank you for your time ladies.

M: Thank you, Adam.
K: Adam, thank you.

If you would like to be interviewed by the staff at the UWE blog page just email ultimate.wrestling.ent@gmail.com or tweet @UWENetwork Feel free to send questions our way too.

An exclusive interview with UWE World Champion: Armenian Beast

Interviews & Questionnaires

The following is a special interview with the UWE World Champion The Armenian Beast. The Armenian Beast conducted interviews with outside media sources, so General Manager Caroline Cage decided to sanction a UWE Blog exclusive interview with Gurgen. This is the result of that encounter.

Alec Beasley was working on his laptop, not looking at porn, in his hotel room in Rome when the Skype icon began to throw a tantrum. Caroline_Cage the popup said. Alec rolled his eyes, Ronnie, he liked well enough, a no nonsense guy who did whatever it took and never made any excuses, his kind of a wrestler. But did he HAVE to marry HER? Just to get on Mrs. Cage’s nerves he waited another few seconds before he answered.

“Good morning, Alec,” the GM said, “Did you settle in ok? Is the room to your liking?”

“Yes, Caroline, everything’s peachy,” Alec lied. He felt a man of his experience and skill should at least have a room with a view of SOME landmark. This was Rome, for Jupiter’s sake! You couldn’t crash a Vespa scooter here without smashing your face into some sort of ancient tourist attraction. And there were other things wrong with the room and just to let her know how lousy the room was, he had elected to address her by her first name. But either she hadn’t picked up on the bloody obvious clue or she did that one unforgiveable thing … not care … about HIS feelings.

“Ok, listen up, Alec,” she continued, “there’s this website that did an interview with The Armenian Beast.”

Oh, Fuck, Alec thought. The hairs on the back of his neck were doing the apprehension shuffle.

“Our Armenian Beast, Alec!”

Yeah, that bore explaining, because there are so many Armenian Beasts out there.

“We can’t let this happen,” said the GM, “Someone needs to do an interview with The Beast.”

If his back wasn’t waxed regularly, his back hair would be standing on end too, right now. He began to caution her, “Do not …”

“And that …”, Caroline continued.

“say…”, said Alec.

“would be …”, Caroline pushed on regardless.

“it,” concluded Alec.

“you.”

“No fucking way, lady.” Alec didn’t know how far he could push the new GM and this was a good time to find out.

“Oh, come on, it’s just twenty questions!”

“I might consider two!” Hey, they were both in Italy, so they might as well shout at each other. When in Rome, do as you like.

“I’d settle for ten questions.”

“See my right arm? That’s my mouse arm. It’s moving towards that little X in the top right hand corner. Almost there.”

“Alright, alright”, Caroline conceded, “Five!” Though it may seem as though she was giving in quickly, she did realize that she was asking a lot … besides, five questions is what she had in mind to begin with anyway.

“Ok, five questions … and I pick the venue.”

“Five questions, you pick the venue,” she confirmed, “… and you do a quick word
association.”

“What?!”

“Thank you so much, Alec, I knew I could count on you.”

“That … idiot barely knows what words are and you want me to …”

“We’ll be needing that by noon tomorrow. Bye now.” This encounter ended in a draw, she figured … oh, hell, she got him to interview The Beast … she kicked his ass ten to nothing.


“How much longer?” asked Alec.

“Almost got it,” the cameraman replied.

“Do hurry up, he’s going to start chewing the cables any time now.”

Gurgen was indeed tremendously bored. Alec had picked the blandest location he could think of, a conference room in his hotel. Provide this … Beast with as few stimuli as possible … like a child with ADHD. And while it seemed to have been working so far. Extensive destruction loomed in the horizon.

“We’re good,” confirmed the cameraman … finally.

“Beast? Beast!” Alec tried to attract the attention of Gurgen, but the Beast had managed to find something of interest in this mind numbingly dull room. Maybe a spider, or imaginary pixies or something. But Alec had come prepared. He place a bottle of grappa on the table and tapped it with his pen. Bingo, now he had The Beast’s attention.

“Now, Beast,” Alec began.

Gurgen lunged forward and snatched the bottle.

Well, as long as he was listening, Alec didn’t care what happened to the grappa.
“You’re the top guy in uWe. How does it feel to win the most coveted prize in UWE?”
Gurgen replied, in between gulps from the bottle,”Pretty good … what be coveted? That be big red car?”

Would Caroline accept an answer like this? Hell, he asked the question, the Beast vocalized something … he had done his job. Still, he replied, “No, Beast, that would be a ‘Corvette’”

The Beast seemed to be thinking, as if he was capable of such a thing.

Gurgen suddenly said, “That be what Gurgen feel like, like red Corvette zipping along coast.”

That … actually made sense in a peculiar sort of way. On with the next question, “Who do you want to defend your title against first?”

“EVERYONE!” shouted The Beast, “Beast wanna get everyone in ring for big rumble and throw everyone out of ring again.”

“And if you had to pick just one opponent?” Was he actually asking follow up
questions?

“Hmmmm, then Beast pick Asylum. Asylum be funny in head, like Gurgen.”
Surprised he had not yet been assaulted, Alec pressed on, “Do you have any dream matches that you want to see in the UWE?”

“Alec ask difficult things. Beast like to wrestle ten girls in pool full of wodka jell-o,” Gurgen nodded profusely.

“Thaaat’s not what I’m after.”

“Ok then, Beast wanna see dinosaur wrestle giant gorilla. Beast think there be movie like that.”

“Still not what I want to hear. Is there no one you’d really like to fight … from any time?”

“Oh, Alec should say so before. Gurgen dream plenty of matches like that. Gurgen fight Ultimate Warrior, or Andre Giant, or … oooh, Beast know … tag match with Tito Santana fighting Warlord and Barbarian. But Gurgen dream most of … erm … more-than-five man tag team match. Gurgen with Bolsheviks fighting Demolition.”

That, Alec thought, I’d actually pay real money for … uWe’s money … on expanse account, but still, that, I’d pay to see.

“And after match, Gurgen go celebrate with Bushwhackers! Gurgen like sardines, Alec know?”

“I’m sure you do,” you sick freak, Alec added in his mind. “Now, how responsive was the crowd during your post match celebration with the title?”

“Crowd made big happy. Womens give Gurgen papers with numbers for calling to make sexy times. And everyone want to buy Gurgen drinks. Gurgen not often been so drunk. Beastly belly feel bad in morning. Beast wonder if crowd in places not-Armenia be so happy for Beastly win.”

Alec quietly rejoiced that he had made it to the end of the list without any bodily harm occurring. “What is next for Gurgen?”

Gurgen showed the bottle to Alec, “Next be grappa!”

“No, I mean in the world of wrestling.”

“Oh, Beast think, Beast have belt now, and Beast no wanna give belt away. No one ever get Belt from Beasty!”

“Ok, that’s all the questions I had, let’s do a quick word association game, and then you can happily drink yourself into an early grave.”

“What be assosicion … assholenation … assositati…si…ass… Oh Gurgen give up!”

“It’s really simple,” for everyone with half a brain … so, not you! “I say a word and you say the first thing that comes to mind,” so we might be here a while. “Here we go … Champion.”

Gurgen was worried this would be hard, but this first word was easy. “Beast!”
“I guess so … next, loser.”

“Erm … not-Beast? No wait, Beast know, that Suarez guy from Uruguay team. He make bite in footy match … there be no biting in footy! Hey, maybe that be dream match … Beast vs Suarez … no bites barred.”

One word, Alec thought, one word I asked of him and he gives me half a novel.

“Italy.”

“Grappa!”

“Hardcore.”

“Porn!” Gurgen blurted out, only then realizing that one does not shout such things. His paw rose in the air to try and grab the word he had just spoken, but, sadly, life is not like a comic book and his paw came back down after a fruitless grasp at nothing.

Alec made a disgusted face for the benefit, while keeping in mind he himself was known to indulge in some of the more ‘out there’ explicit imagery.

“Softcore.”

“Libertine … Lib be soft at core. Gurgen like.”

“Diva.”

“Lada. No wait, that be ‘Niva’ … ooooh, now Gurgen no think of anything anymore.”

“That’s ok, Beast,” because I want to get out of here ten minutes ago. “Competitor.”

“Penguin. See what Alec do? Beast confused now.”

As one would expect, Alec though before saying, Entertainer.”

“Willy Thorne.”

“Who?”

“Alec no know man from snooker? Willy always make funny things on table. He be entertainer.”

“Right, only two left, Good and Bad.”

“Ugly!” Beast shouted, “Beast love movie. With the shooting where ugly have no guns in his bullet.”

“That’s not … oh screw it,” did I just say that out loud … Oh crap, Caroline is going to chew my ass out for this.

Gurgen continued his fandom of that movie, “Peoples call movies like that, spaghetti movie. Hm, now Gurgen be in mood for spaghetti. Alec thing peoples from Italy know spaghetti?”

“You know,” said Alec while he hastily gathered his stuff, “I think they just might have heard of it.” And with that, Alec left an elated Gurgen to go bother the cameraman for the nearest spaghetti joint.

(Credit: Filip aka the handler of The Armenian Beast for the Interview)