The Armenian Beast – Rumor has it that the assault at the hands of Morsmordre might leave the champ sidelined for a while. Nonetheless, he retained his belt at the end of the last tour. He’s still the champion which means he’s still number one!
Amy GoBraless – Two in a row. Crazy. She beat Billsta and Bob at the pay-per-view, then put Billsta down again in Thermopylae. She’s one step closer to her shot at the UWE World Championship. When that time comes, she might finally grab that number one stop that’s belonged to the Beast this whole time.
Morsmordre – It looks like Asylum decided to take the week off to be all broody and whatnot. Brandon Sorrow scared some children, but came up short against Special Forces. He’s a Hall of Famer…well, was, but the numbers were still against him. However, Cthuhlu went on a rampage. He interrupted the opening contest and laid waste to Ruby and Lily Jackson, then went on a brawl with Chaos to who knows where. Later in the evening, he and Chaos met in the ring, and Cthuhlu dismantled the Canadian Psycho. Holy buckets are these guys gonna hurt some people. I’m glad I’m behind this keyboard.
Rhett Vipers – The two of them don’t deserve to be shoved down the list. They’ve both been on the end of some beatdowns lately and it’s not their fault. Well, maybe Jenson’s, because he decided to stick his nose in the business of Morsmordre. And Ruby…well, I guess she is guilty by association. Hopefully they can put an end to the madness and calm things down.
Special Forces – Also all up in the business of Morsmordre, Special Forces tried to play the hero in London. They got some retribution at the start of the Battleground Tour, though, defeating Brandon Sorrow in handicap action. No doubt they will still be looking to take the fight to UWE’s latest oppressive force. That’ll keep them bumping up.
Bob the Badguy – Nothing good or bad to post about Bob this week, well, maybe bad. Since he’s the Badguy. L. O. L. Internet lingo. Whacko stuff, huh? Anyways, he’s getting closer and closer to getting kicked off this list. Let’s see the Badguy hurt somebody!
Angels and Demons – Billsta came up just short again. And Lily got thrown around by the UWE’s original monster, Cthuhlu. It’s not devastating losses. They keep getting closer and closer to what they want to achieve. Let us see how that progresses.
Chaos – I guess he really is in love or something? Stepping up at the special guest referee, he had some trouble enforces the rules. Cthuhlu disrupted his match and then disrupted any momentum he might have had later in the evening, beating him 1, 2, 3.
Serah Feena – She’s sitting in the 9-hole. Same situation as with Bob. Nothing good or bad. She needs to just be given opportunities. And if management won’t give them, she needs to take them!
??? – SOMEONE. ANYONE. PLEASE. Step up and jumble these power rankings!